/g/eneral Chat Version 14, Make War Not Love

go make a therapy thread or something, I come here for shits and giggles.

if i were a mod, id totally move all that shit to a new thread

oh for fuck's sakes mod mod mod mod mod mod mod mod mod.

I wish nana would just give the position to the three of you so we can stop talking about it.

What happen to our lovely AF family?

YOU WERE NOT HERE TO KEEP EVERYTHING LOVELY ;^;

i blame global warming

I blame the jews.

Spoiler:

loloolololol

any minute now....: D

i dont think hed be on its 4 in the morning and he has jew stuff i mean computer software stuff to do in the morning....

This is a post

no this is a post


night peeps

lol fail, ok night for real

This is an ass

*waits for someone to prove me wrong*

NoblePhantasm wrote:

Wing wrote:'s not a matter of life being "hard". I don't know where you got the idea that it's attention whoring. I'd be advertising those thoughts outside of here, I would get a huge ass amount of attention and whatever else I wanted from the people in my life.

Don't get all high and mighty here, thinking that people need a long depressing essay of their tragic lives so that they can pass your test and earn your benevolent pity, and a "go ahead" to end their life by their own hands.

Killing myself isn't a matter of my difficult life, or feeling bad for myself, it's logic.

I've been closing myself off to the people around me for years, the last few I've done everything in my power, short of the most outrageous, to sever my connections to those around me.

I hadn't even realized it was a desire to end my existence till a few months ago.

Today, I went as far as to purposely make my mother cry, just so I can try to weaken her attachment to me.

There's nothing more irritating than having someone look down on you for having a different perspective.

This has literally told me fuck all about why you'd want to kill yourself. It's not attention whoring. Fine. You don't need a depressing story. Fine. You've been closing off people because, why, exactly? They didn't like you, you didn't like them? Oh, let me guess, "it's just how I am, man. You wouldn't get it." I'll be as fucking condescending and as high and mighty as I please, thank you very much. This epiphany of yours, when and how did it occur? When you realised you were utterly alone? So what? Have you ever questioned yourself? Really think it through? Or you just went along with it, just because it was "logical"; which is bullshit, by the way.

And good job making your mum cry. I'm sure she'll be less "attached" to you, because that's how mothers work. So you were basically an asshole to your mum for no god damn reason whatsoever. Yes, having a different perspective that no one would understand because you yourself have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Say it clearly and concisely. "I want to kill myself because Jenny from class B turned me down for the prom." That's a reason. What you told me is nothing. Or, perhaps, that is the whole point. There is no reason. No reason behind life, death and you just don't give a fuck. Congratulations, then.

EDIT: Off to class. Think about what you're going to respond, if you are indeed going to.

A1: I've been closing myself off to others because I don't want to die knowing that there will be people I leave behind that will take it hard, of which, there are. Sorry that isn't as fucking retarded as "It's just how I am, brohammer."

A2: It wasn't an "epiphany", it was a multitude of paradigm shifts I've had throughout my life. I've never been alone, which, is now the problem for me.

A3: I've always questioned myself, that's how I've grown, the real problem was how long before I got the sense to question others, along with everything else that there is. I wouldn't have gotten to this point without having spent a large part of my time in thought, conflicting with my own thoughts and those of others.

A4: I didn't go along with the thought purely out of ignorant logic. I have no desire to live in a world of miserable escapism, where everything we do and experience is just to keep our minds off the fact that we're going to die, no matter what, with whatever we do up until that point, being irrelevant.

There is no "higher power" waiting for us. Religion was started to control the masses, at a time when people lived shorter, harder, and empty lives. And is now used in our current time of endless escapism to make ignorant clowns feel that they are special, and that there is meaning to their existence, and that when everything is over, they'll magically "wake up" in an eternal paradise where they will never cease to stop being, because they were super spectacular during the trial game that their all-knowing higher power made them go through as a test.

It's also convenient, because the dead can't attempt to cash in a bad check.

We make light of death through religion and entertainment in order to soften the effect it has on us, by not taking it seriously.

When you wake up and go to Sunday Service to listen to another human preach to you about salvation, you don't worry about dying so much. When you go see a war movie with your friends, you don't get anxious when you see a squad of human soldiers get torn apart by an automatic rifle, because "it's just a movie, that isn't real".

The next time a news program is on talking about a murder or more casualties from a war. How many people that see that, give a damn? They weren't murdered, they weren't "K.I.A.", and in the end, that's all people care about. No one will even bat an eyelash over someone elses death, so long as it doesn't directly affect them.

That's the point of death being taken lightly. That's how you numb the fear and anxiety that comes along with it.

Those people that say "That's so horrible that they killed that little girl.", only say that to earn societal points to those within earshot. The ones that pray for their soul, only do so to get a gold star on their eternal salvation resume.

Moving on, I'm starting to go on and on.

A5: I didn't make my mother cry because I wanted to, I couldn't find any other solution in the moment. I'm well aware that doesn't make her less "attached" to make her cry, as it obviously isn't how most mothers work.

It's frustrating to have a conversation with someone that wants to help you, when you're fully aware that there is no "help" for you.

Someone who earnestly cares about, ready to do whatever it takes to save you, when you don't want to be saved.

Saying they won't abandon you, when that's exactly what you want them to do.

The conversation went like this:

"What do you want to do with your life, whatever it is, you can tell me."

Would you tell her the answer if it was, "I don't want to do anything with my life, at all." or would you sit there silently and try to find a way out of bringing your mother an enormous amount of emotional pain by fucking with her rose colored glasses and telling her what I see, what I think, and what I feel about everything.

The more she tries to help, the more difficult it makes things. I didn't call her a bitch till she cried. I couldn't figure out what to do or say without making things difficult for her. And if I did, I doubt I'd have the courage to do so. So I did the only thing I could make myself do, knowing it hurt her.

I stared blankly, with no emotion, right through her. And when I couldn't bear to sit in the chair doing that anymore, I walked out, fully aware that she would be in tears.

So please tell what I should have done, Sensei. Would you risk ruining someone elses life, who you cared about, just to keep them from crying once?

I'm an asshole, it's kind of my thing, I'll be the first one to tell anyone that. But I refuse to drag the people I care about into my own darkness and despair. Even if they shed a few tears along the way. I'd rather my mother cry for me tonight, then have her and my sister cry the rest of their lives over me.

I'll let them feel some pain, with me as the cause, and I'll bear that guilt. If that's what I have to do to get them to cut ties with me, so be it. But I won't jump the gun and leave them spending the rest of their lives thinking "I could've done more." or "If we only tried harder, he wouldn't be gone".

Don't criticize what I will and wont do for the people I care about, when I doubt you'd go as far as making yourself a target for spite and bad memories for all of them.

Are my methods and opinions the same as yours? No, and I'm glad they're not.


I'm going to bed. Think about what you're going to respond with, if you are indeed going to.

lolaf

^you shut your whore mouth

That is one great wall of text.

suicide talk......I ain't touching that topic

its best we dont talk about it anymore cause its just gonna get even more depressing and shit so maybe noble you should just pm him rather than bring the subject up again

Can't wait for new Metro.

is that based on metro 2033?